By Lynn Moncus
I, Aggie, am writing the column this week even though the slave won’t let me use my own byline anymore because she thinks it causes too much confusion and probably because she knows people would rather read what I have to say than to look at her ramblings.
She told me she was only letting me play with the computer this time because a number of my fans have said they wanted to hear from me. Now she’s pouting because very few people ever say anything about her writing unless she makes a bunch of mistakes.
She and I have watched too much television about the hurricanes and have felt a little low, but she assured me one night while we were watching some of my beautiful dogs being rescued that she wouldn’t leave me even if she had to stay with me in my favorite corner behind the bed.
I think the slave was telling the truth for a change because she held me a little closer in our chair while she was talking.
I told her to quit worrying because I wouldn’t let her leave without me and would be glad to share my corner with her.
When she’s not yelling at me, she is really OK to have around.
We haven’t walked in the pastures for several weeks now, and I have Uncle Judge to thank for that. Every time he shows her pictures of rattlesnakes, she decides we should walk in the parks here in town so we can both see where we are going. I really enjoy that because the grassy parks don’t hurt my paws and because I don’t get my leash tangled in mesquite bushes and cacti. Besides, I don’t have to ride very far in that scary car and don’t have to worry about walking all the way home from the canyons in case that infernal machine won’t move. Also, I don’t have to stop every few steps to let her take pictures and to tell me all about the subjects she is playing with in order to have good pictures to brag about.
I really wish the slave would leave the camera at home because she gets very excited when she is aiming it and I get dragged around as I hit the end of the leash. I don’t know why she thinks she has to stand still with that gadget or even why she wants to play with it unless taking pictures of me. I could take better pictures than she can anyway because I can see things better from ground level. I can also see all sorts of creatures to get into focus.
She really doesn’t know that I would even see a rattlesnake before she would because I have better eyes, but I’m not exactly sure what a snake looks like and might forget to tell her what I was seeing. She’d be more apt to throw rocks at me than at such monsters anyway because her aim is almost as poor as her eyesight except when she throws something at me.
Sometimes when I don’t want to hear her when she’s calling me in from the backyard, I’m amazed that pebbles can hit me right where she wants them to, especially when I think I’m hidden so she can’t see me. I’m just glad we don’t have any of those big rocks from the canyons, or she might have to be charged with major cruelty. Even when she says she wouldn’t really hurt me, I’m sometimes a little worried when I sort of forget to do what she says. At such times, her look is enough to get me into action.
I hope you are enjoying the cool weather as much as I am and that you are running in your backyards in order to show how much energy you have when the temperature is comfortable. I run as fast as I can and then try to get the slave to follow, but she says she is loo old to run. Well, I know she is old, but I also know she can move pretty fast when she sees a mouse or hears something that scares her. She should at least walk with me during the cool mornings so she could watch me having such fun playing outside.
Maybe she will let us visit again soon if you will just ask her and let her know you really like to hear from me.