Daylight-saving time - Conspiracy
Published: Sunday, April 4th, 2004
The month of April - Income tax, daylight-savings time, April Fools Day. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously, it is a major conspiracy. “They” are out to get us! (Don’t you just love using “They” to blame everything on? When I was little, I used to blame everything on my big sister. Now, I am convinced she was one of “Them”) Anyway, I think the worst April Fools’ joke of all is daylight-savings time. I really do hate it, and “They” will answer for that too. Some people have the gall to claim daylight-saving time makes sense. Anytime I lose sleep, trust me, it does not make sense (That’s one of those laws of nature - at least around my house). Now, I am not complaining about the earth shaking aspects of daylight-saving time like computer systems having to be completely reprogrammed and farmers having animals on a different time schedule than they are. Those are bad, but no, it is the little ones that drive me up the wall. Things like understanding which way we are supposed to adjust the clocks. “Oh, come on,” I hear you cry, “that’s simple. All you have to remember is spring forward and fall...ah..down if you spring to far unless...um..(or something like that)." While that is easy for you to say, for me it is like those standardized tests we used to take in high school. You remember, the ones that two kids with thick glasses and neatly trimmed hair would finish and hand in while you were still filling out your name. Anyway, do you remember how you were sure the “easy” ones (like there were some, right?) were trick questions and you kept changing your answer until you ripped the paper by erasing too many times? Daylight-saving time is like that for me. “If it were 9 p.m. in Tucumcari, and you just changed your clock for daylight savings time, it is now (a.) 10 p.m. (b.) 8 a.m. (c.) 3:17 (d.) noon. (e.) none of the above. (f.) all of the above." And why do “They” tell us to set the clock back (forward?) when we go to bed Saturday night? I mean, why do they want us asleep when it happens? Sounds pretty sneaky to me. Do you remember in the old movie “Night of the Living Dead” the good guys fell asleep and the pod people took their brains! And do you remember the time you went to sleep in the hospital and woke up without your tonsils? And what happens if we don’t go to sleep? Do we still have to change the clocks? Now, there is a loophole if I ever saw one. And what about my VCR? It take me five months on the average to reset my VCR and have something besides “12:00” flash all day and night and about the time I get it set, I have to reset it again when the time changes, and there comes “12:00,” “12:00,” “12:00” again. I tell you it is a conspiracy. It does not help that I have family who live in Arizona. They don’t go on daylight-saving time there. So, for about a week after we go on “saving” time, they will call me on the phone and ask me for the time then laugh maniacally when I give them an answer.
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